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Bernie Vows To Rebuild Berlin Wall

BERLIN—At a special campaign appearance abroad in Berlin, Bernie made waves with an ambitious new campaign promise to rebuild the Berlin Wall.

“We are opposed to some aspects of the Berlin Wall, but, you know, it’s simply unfair to say everything was bad,” Sanders said before a screaming throng of Bernie bros. “Barbed wire and machine guns? Maybe not so good. But it was a beautiful wall made of smooth concrete that was quite lovely. Most importantly, it kept out fascists. That’s a GOOD thing.”

At the announcement, the crowd threw their soy lattes in the air and erupted in a rapturous chant of "Построить эту стену!" which is roughly translated as “build that wall!” Sanders looked out on a sea of hope-filled faces, giddy over the prospect of restoring the majestic landmark built by the German Democratic Republic.

The cheering intensified as Bernie promised that not only will he build the wall, but that he will make Trump voters pay for it. Sanders also outlined plans to build walls around any American state that doesn’t support the glorious socialist revolution.

Current estimates say that construction of the wall will provide 2 million shovel-ready jobs and cost approximately 382 billion dollars per mile. Workers tasked with building the wall will be given a generous 30 days pay upfront, to match the 30-day life expectancy of each worker.  

The post Bernie Vows To Rebuild Berlin Wall appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Blessing Okoro claims she made N30m after claiming Onye Eze's house as hers

Blessing Okoro popularly known as Blessing Ceo has claimed she made N30m after she lied that the home of businessman, Onye Eze belonged to her. She said the lie made her global and uplifted her financial status.

Talking about trolls who have been trying to shame her since 2019, Blessing took to Instagram asking them to get better as they were getting boring with the same words. She wrote;

''It’s so painful that our Nigerian trolls are not creative , they will just be repeating insults up and dan.....
See my dear trolls , what u tell people over and over agin becomes a joke, if you want ur words to hurt people be creative with new insults , you all are so daft and it hurts me ..,,
Blessing lie

Blessing lie. Blessing lie
2019 lie oooooooo.
Ordinary lie oooooo
If she come 4ck nko una go kee una self . Tell us something new na that will excite the public ...
Be creative trolls
Get to work fast .
Start digging .
She is a viral content
Love u all''


A follower however replied her saying she is the cause of her calamity and anything thing she says will be seen as fake and audio. But a angry Blesisng lashed out at him, syaing she has made the sum of N30m in the last one year.

The follower wrote; "That "Ordinary lie u called it has killed ur brand as a person, so no matter how u see it or how u reason it my dear it wont change the fact. anything u post or show off now will be tag as fake and lie simply because u have planted that in ppl...everything abt u na audio.fake life, fake car,fake hand bags and dresses, even the car u are in we believe is fake."


Blessing responded saying;

 ''After the lie I got verified, I had a visible office, with 7 staffs, after the lie I met personalities, became global, made up to 30 million naira. Be patient I invested the money the income is coming , I will do giveaways hope u benefits .

My post is not for u to believe but for u to see it . Believe in urself first leave blessing Ceo she is doing ok.''



Recall Issued After Millions Of Gallons Of LaCroix Accidentally Shipped With Flavor

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL—A recall has been issued on popular flavorless liquid beverage LaCroix after an accident at the factory caused millions of gallons of the drink that some people allegedly enjoy to include dangerous levels of taste and deliciousness. A worker on the assembly line was supposed to pour in the customary .0000001 ounces of natural flavoring but forgot to "carry the one or something" and added 1 ounce of flavor to the vat instead.

The post Recall Issued After Millions Of Gallons Of LaCroix Accidentally Shipped With Flavor appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Joe Biden Claims He Is Only Human Left On Earth Not Killed By Gun Violence

Tim Keller Gives Up Writing Endnotes For Lent

NEW YORK, NY—Publishing industry insiders have confirmed a report that best-selling author Tim Keller plans on giving up the writing of endnotes for Lent. As part of this decision, for the next 40 days, all Keller writings will include references exclusively in footnotes.

The post Tim Keller Gives Up Writing Endnotes For Lent appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Internet fraudster Oyintonbra sentenced to 66 years in jail

Justice Nnamdi Dimgba of the Federal High Court, Asaba has sentenced an internet fraudster Tonwerigha Oyintonbra Tombrown to 66 years imprisonment without an option of fine.

Tombrown was jailed Tuesday for defrauding one Izabela Glogowska to the tune of ( €55,000) Fifty Five Thousand Euros under the pretext of paying it into her Perfect Money online account.

The convicted fraudster had pleaded not guilty upon arraignment by the Port Harcourt Zonal Office of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission in Federal High Court, Asaba, Delta State, on November 9, 2016.

He was prosecuted on thirty-three count charge, bordering on impersonation and obtaining money by false pretence. However, at the resumed hearing on the matter on February 13, 2020, he switched gear and pleaded guilty to all the charges.


One of the charges reads: “That you Tonweirigha Oyintonbra Tombrown (alias Michael Freeman, Yoshinaka corporation) on or about the 8th day of May 2015, at Warri, Delta State, within the jurisdiction of this honourable court, with intent to defraud, did present yourself as one Michael Freeman a famous online trader and obtained the sum of (€5800) Five Thousand Eight Hundred Euros from Izabela Glogwoska under the false pretence that you were going to pay the said sum into Izabela Glogwoska’s Perfect Money account, a pretence you knew to be false, and thereby committed an offence contrary to Section 1(1) (a) of the Advance Fee Fraud and Other Related Offences Act 2006 and punishable under Section 1(3) of the said Act.”

Prosecuting counsel, A.I Arogha reviewed the facts of the case and urged the court to convict him accordingly.

Justice Dimgba convicted and sentenced the defendant to two years imprisonment on each of the thirty three count charges without an option of fine. The sentence is, however, to run concurrently from August 11, 2018, the date the convict was taken into custody.

The judge further ruled that the EFCC should remit to the victim of the fraud, the sum of €30,475, being part of the proceeds of crime, which the convict had returned through the Commission in the course of investigation and prosecution of the case



George Clooney bids to buy Spanish club Malaga

George Clooney is part of a consortium lining up a sensational bid to save Malaga from their financial disarray, with plans to film a 24-hour fly-on-the-wall documentary at the club, according to reports.

The Hollywood star is said to be part of a group of American investors hoping to turn around the fortunes of the Andalusian side languishing in Spain's Segunda Division.

Malaga were Champions League quarter-finalists as recently as 2013 and their club president Sheikh Abdullah Al-Thani has been suspended over accusations of improper management.

But the Qatari businessman is still demanding £86million for the sale of the club, according to Canal Malaga, as quoted by Spanish news outlet AS.


But the US investors hope a deal can be agreed for considerably less than the Sheikh's asking price, the report says.

They then hope to profit from the popular Costa del Sol port city by filming a documentary at the club with plans to turn it into a 'European Hollywood'.

There are even sensational suggestions the show could be a 24-hour Truman Show-style documentary.

Small Shareholders Association president Antonio Aguilera said: 'There is a powerful production company here in Malaga, they want to turn Malaga into the "European Hollywood" and they are filming series here on the south coast for Amazon and are already negotiating with the club.

'A fortnight ago, he was asking 100million euros for Malaga. What they are prepared to offer is much more than the amount he paid for the club (36million euros) and talks are ongoing.

'On Friday, they called the Americans to say they were willing to negotiate.'

Clooney, 58, has a number of business ventures outside of acting, co-founding a tequila company which later sold for $1billion, and is an ambassador for Nespresso coffee.


EFCC arrests Kano ex-speaker for N1.5b fraud

The Kano State Zonal Office of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, on Tuesday, February 26, 2020 arrested former Kano House of Assembly speaker, Isyaku Ali Danja for alleged abuse of office and misappropriation of fund meant for constituency projects.

Danja got into trouble following a petition that funds meant for payment of tax liabilities to Federal Inland Revenue Service (FIRS) by Kano State Government were allegedly diverted and misappropriated to the tune of over N1.5 billion from the sub-treasury account of the state government.

Several suspicious payments were allegedly traced to some beneficiaries, including some made to Allad Drilling Limited, a company in which the suspect is the sole signatory.


Investigation by the EFCC further revealed that the funds were on several occasions, personally withdrawn in cash by the suspect, while he was the only one who could officially state whether jobs were done before any payments could be made.

The EFCC had earlier arrested the commissioner for Special Duties in the state, Mukhtar Ishaq, for allegedly diverting funds meant for Kano Municipal Local Government while he was chairman of the said local government.

Mukhtar was arrested by EFCC following a petition that alleged that while he was chairman of Kano Municipal, he diverted funds meant for projects, development and empowerment of the people.

The petitioner further alleged that Mukhtar ordered the deduction of N30, 000 (Thirty Thousand Naira), from the account of each council member without justification.

Mukhtar was also alleged to have converted property of Kofar Nasarawa Primary School, Kano, into shops and sold same at the rate of N10,000,000 (Ten Million Naira), per shop and diverted the money to personal use.

Both suspects would be charged to court on completion of investigations.


Singapore charges man with virus for lying to health officials

A Chinese man infected with coronavirus and his wife have been charged in Singapore for lying to health authorities investigating whether they had passed the illness to others, officials said Wednesday.

Singapore has recorded nearly 100 cases of the COVID-19 infection since the illness first originated in the Chinese city of Wuhan last December.

With nearly 2,800 confirmed deaths and more than 81,000 cases worldwide, Singapore has banned the entry of visitors who have travelled through China or parts of South Korea within two weeks of their arrival.


Hu Jun, originally from Wuhan, arrived in Singapore on January 22 and later tested positive for the illness. The 38-year-old has since recovered and been discharged from hospital.



His Chinese wife, a resident of the city-state, was issued a quarantine order.

Singapore’s health ministry said the couple “had given false information… about their movements and whereabouts” to officials investigating whether they could have passed the infection on to others.

They were charged because of the potentially serious risk their actions had posed to public health, the ministry added.

The pair face a fine of up to US$7,150 and six-month imprisonment if convicted.

Retracing the movements of those infected with the virus is crucial in tracking down individuals who may have been exposed, and prevent further spread.

In a separate case, immigration officials said Wednesday it had withdrawn an unnamed foreigner’s permanent resident status for violating an order to stay at home in self-quarantine after his recent travel to China.

Court rejects APC’s request to review Bayelsa judgment

The Supreme Court has rejected the applications by the Al Progressives Congress and two others for a review of February 13, 2020  judgment in the Bayelsa State governorship dispute.

A seven-member panel of the court, led by Justice Sylvester Ngwuta, dismissed th two application filed and argued for the applicants by Afe Babalola (SAN) and Wole Onanipekun (SAN), and held that the applications were without merit and amounted to abuse of court process.

Justice Amina Augie, who read the lead ruling, said the application was an attempt to make the court violate its rules and the. provision of the Constitution which makes it the final court of the land.

Justice Augie said the applications, if granted has the capacity of belittling the dignity and status of the court and open a floodgate for such request in the future.


She expressed regret that senior lawyers in the country could be involved in the filing of such applications.

Justice Augie awarded N10milion cost for each of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd respondents (the PDP, its governorship and deputy governorship in the last election) – Sen. Duoye Diri and. Lawrence Ewhrudjakpo – to be paid personally by the applicant’s lawyers.

Afe Babalola (SAN) represented the 1st and 2nd applicants (Biobarakuma Degi-Eremienyo), while Wole Olanipekun (SAN) represented the APC.